Mangasusu is a Cape Dorset Inuktitut word that refers to the fear of rejection or embarrassment that prevents one from speaking up or communicating openly. Whether it’s mangasusu that holds you back from messaging a friend, speaking in a meeting, or pursuing a romantic interest, we’ve all struggled with it at some point.
As a lifelong sufferer of mangasusu myself, I’ve learned some techniques over the years to help overcome the fear. In this post, I wanted to share some of what has worked for me in building the confidence to communicate despite mangasusu. My hope is that it provides some insight and encouragement for others dealing with similar reservations.
Start Small
When mangasusu seems overwhelming, it can help to start with tiny, low-risk interactions and work your way up. Exchange a greeting with a colleague, make small talk in the checkout line – little comments that don’t require much vulnerability but still get you accustomed to putting yourself out there. Repetition helps desensitize us to perceived rejection.
Listen without Judgment
Often our mangasusu stems more from fear of judgment than actual rejection. Fight this by actively listening to others in a spirit of understanding rather than critique. Release your inner critic and just focus on connecting without preconceived notions. This helps you see others – and by extension yourself – with more compassion.
Validate your own worth
At the root of mangasusu typically lies a sense of worth being defined by others’ responses. To overcome this, make a daily effort to recognize your own intrinsic qualities and value independent of feedback. Compliment yourself, celebrate non-social victories, spend time with supportive people who see you. An inner sense of self-worth weakens mangasusu’s power.
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Redefine “Rejection”
In reality, not every unreturned message or declined invitation constitutes rejection of our entire self. Challenge irrational thoughts by redefining perceived rejections not as personal judgment but just differences of circumstance, timing, or opinion that say nothing about your likability. See responses as neither utter acceptance nor total dismissal.
Share your authentic self
So often mangasusu leads us to present façades of who we think others want to see. But true confidence comes from owning all parts of ourselves, even those deemed imperfect, and sharing them unapologetically. While vulnerability brings discomfort, it also allows for more genuine exchanges and relationship building than paltry small talk ever could.
Find your people
Surrounding ourselves with supportive communities makes us far more willing to put ourselves out there. Do you enjoy gaming, gardening or genealogy? Seek out like-minded souls through online forums, local clubs or niche conferences. Shared interests help conversations flow more freely while providing a backup of understanding peers.
Deal with setbacks positively
Inevitably, despite our best efforts, we’ll still face occasional rejection. But mangasusu teaches us that one person’s disinterest need not define us or cancel our worth. Should a message go unanswered, choose to see it as their loss rather than yours. Reframe it as a missed connection that frees you to seek better matches.
Laugh at yourself
The ability to not take ourselves too seriously is often lacking in those hindered by mangasusu. Yet a good dose of self-deprecating humor goes a long way in establishing approachability and making our inevitable mistakes more palatable. Being able to laugh at our social blunders releases pressure and bonds us with others.
Think long-term rewards
Mangasusu causes us to obsess over the perceived dangers of each individual interaction. To overcome this, focus on your long-term goals and how saying yes to communication in the present moves the needle, however slightly, towards those desires – whether professional milestones, personal growth or relationship building. This perspective helps anxiety fade into the background.
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Be patient and kind with yourself
Overcoming a lifetime of mangasusu conditioning takes consistent, gradual effort – not perfection. Accept that setbacks will happen and cut yourself slack. Measure success not by every exchange but by your overall trend of comfort levels increasing. As with any struggle, self-compassion fuels continued progress far better than self-criticism. You’ve got this!
It gets easier, I promise!
While the fear may never disappear entirely, experience has shown me and so many others that with time and small daily victories, communicating with less mangasusu absolutely becomes a new normal. Be patient through the process and don’t forget to celebrate even the baby steps. You have so much wonderful perspective and companionship to offer the world – I can’t wait to see it all shared more freely.
Conclusion
In closing, my hope is that this post provided some tools and encouragement for tackling mangasusu at its root. Please remember that you are not alone in these fears, and that through small, consistent efforts, more confidence in uninhibited communication is achievable. If mangasusu stops you from reaching out when you need to talk about this further, my inbox is always open. Now get out there and start shining!
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FAQs
What is the best way to start small with interactions?
Some ideas are greeting coworkers or cashiers by name, introducing yourself at local community events, or striking up short conversations through online social networks in low-pressure niche groups.
How do you develop an inner sense of self-worth?
Spend reflective time weekly to identify personal strengths, accomplishments and values separate from external validation. Keep a gratitude journal, practice daily affirmations and maintain relationships with uplifting people who see your inherent worth.
What are some examples of reframing perceived rejections?
If plans with a friend fall through, view it not as a judgment of you but as their temporary busyness. A disinterested dating app response likely says more about what they’re seeking than you as a person. A job not panning out means the opportunity wasn’t right, not that you lack skills.
How can humor help with mangasusu?
The ability to poke fun at one’s social awkwardness or foibles in a self-aware, non-self-deprecating way shows you don’t take yourself too seriously. This displays confidence and makes you approachable even when mistakes happen. Delivery is key – use humor to bond, not distance or criticize yourself or others.
How do you stay motivated long-term in overcoming mangasusu?
Connect why improved communication matters deeply for your goals. Is it a new career path, stronger relationships, personal development? Revisiting why this challenge and growth are important to live fully keeps the end rewards top-of-mind for intrinsic motivation on hard days. Accountability with others helps too.
